Finding Community

I have been looking for a group of like-minded stay at home mothers since Luke was born.  I worked hard at it, and kept coming up empty handed.  I can’t begin to quantify the frustration I was feeling but it made my world seem very small and made me feel alone.  I had become so frustrated with my situation that both my mother and my husband suggested that I return to work if it made me happier.  But I knew that working wasn’t what I or my family needed.  What I needed was the friendship of other women who understood me and the complexities of being a stay at home mother.  Friends who would raise their children alongside mine offering support and advice and laughter and perspective.

I found a playgroup of like-minded mommies a few weeks ago in an unlikely fashion.  I went on Meetup and found a group online.  I had never heard of the site before and was a little wary.  Maybe a lot wary, but desperate so I completed the forms and waited to hear back from them.  Within a week I was at my first playdate… and we clicked.

We played at a park; the moms chatted, the kids played in the sand and shared snacks.  It was everything we were looking for: friendship, laughter, community, learning, cooperation and no-drama.

Today we went to our second playdate out at Springdale Farms and I was talking with the other mothers about how hard it has been to find a community where we fit in.  It was refreshing to hear that each woman there agreed that it was difficult, either because of a lack of other mothers in your neighborhood or because other stay at home mothers aren’t as friendly or as interested in getting their kids together to play.  Especially with all of the financial stresses of the current economy, there seem to be fewer families who make the decision to sacrifice an income for the joys and stresses that staying at home with your young children brings.

So if you are struggling with this now, remember its normal and give it a little more time!  Persist, friends, persist!  Check out Meetup to see if there are some local playgroups in your area that catch your attention.  As Soulemama said, “it is hard and important work!” and we couldn’t agree more.

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